You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
