I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
