What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
