It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
