get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize