I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
