I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
