i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
