oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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