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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
