I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
