Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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