soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
