Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
