i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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