That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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