I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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