I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
