we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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