I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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