R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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