i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
