your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
a search helicopter?!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
