am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you had me at cake vodka
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
