Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
