covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
