let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
