You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
