He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
