Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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