You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize