Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
