I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
