What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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