I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
