Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
