Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
