I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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