She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
