I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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