i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
