I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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