do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
