why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
