don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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