I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
