I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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