Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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