Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
