Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
