Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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