I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
