She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize