I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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