His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
