grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
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Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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