He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
