I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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