fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
