My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As shirtless as possible
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
