Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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