Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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