those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
